Aquatic Zebra

Friday, May 20th, 2011

n0rah asked: omfg you clever piece of wit. I just died reading your bit on Pete Doherty going to jail. girllll, you killlin' it.

3:46 pm

As a fan for decades, I can’t wait for this
Steve Holt was always the best character and now he’s going to get to shine
This poster doesn’t reveal much but I guess it looks pretty cool
I remember when the script for this film leaked a couple months ago and most of it was about Steve leading a children’s cult and everyone was like “Can this really be the script for the Arrested Development spinoff?” but it seems like that leak was real
Well anyway, as I said, can’t wait!

3:02 pm

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/misha-barton-looking-like-an-idiot
BuzzFeed was just all like, “Mischa looks stupid”
You’re beautiful girl!
Keep being you!
Don’t let the BFeeders get you down!
I still love your look, you should be a model!
You should get your own show where your whole character is “hot girl”
Oh wait…
You should get another show like that, just make sure to not die this time!
Anyway, if you can’t get hired remember you always have a spot on the editorial staff here at the Aquatic Zebra!
We can’t afford to pay you, but we’ll make up for that with enthusiasm/earnestness/hugs!
Sound good Mischa?

2:49 pm

First Look
Exclusive second look, straight from Vulture
YOU CAN’T SEE THIS PHOTO ANYWHERE ELSE, except for, once again, Vulture which got the exclusive first look

2:20 pm

Can’t believe the photographer spent time taking this picture instead of helping her out of the water
I guess the photographer thought it would be more important to the world to expose us to the dangers of drowning than help this one teenage girl survive
I’ve heard of photographers who take pictures of dying children in Africa feel guilt the rest of their lives because they could have saved kids lives instead of taking pictures of them for their facebooks, perhaps this photographer will have the same guilt
Well, the Cyrus family had a good run. Now Dad Cyrus can go back to being an “Anonymous American” like the rest of us

2:01 pm

http://www.spin.com/articles/first-listen-dear-hunters-heady-concept-album
Is he hoping people will make a typo when Googling Deerhunter?
This guys looks like a guy I know but isn’t that guy. Interesting and relevant right?

11:40 am

10:10 am

That skull and cross bones tattoo is so cool!
Also the pose with the cigarette packet in hand lets you know how much Pete doesn’t GIVE A FUCK
I bet in jail he’ll be all like, “i’m a popular musician, remember my song ‘fuck forever’” and then hilarious hijinks will go down when the inmates are all like”you gonna get fucked forever because you’re really scrawny…etc etc.” And then all of the inmates laughed and laughed and so did the studio audience that all modern jails are equipped with
I just wish Pete Doherty and Kate Moss would get back together/I want a fairy tale/I want a fairy’s tail but that is unrelated

Thursday, May 19th, 2011

I feel bad for Tom Hanks
He really put his heart and soul on the line, pointing at Oprah with both hands
Then Oprah was like, psh, I’m only going to point back with one hand, symbolizing she only loves Tom half as much as he loves her
Oprah needs to get off her high horse
THIS IS TOM HANKS
THE STAR OF CASTAWAY
Show him some respect O

3:37 pm